What Your Mother Really Means
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
August 18, 2009 @ 5:17 am
Isn’t it amazing how alike we all are! Each one of these is true for every parent that ever lived, no matter what part of the world or what century, or which child. I grinned over the one about ‘hearsay’. It brought back some memories. By the way, Jean, you really are blessed to have so many of those wonderful moments to remember. My kids are almost raised, and I’m looking forward to grandparenting someday. Your positive words are inspirational to me. Thanks!
August 12, 2009 @ 6:49 pm
funny stuff…lol
August 10, 2009 @ 12:50 pm
@ELMA 71 and have four grandaughters one grandson and five great grandkids ages 8 to 2. Life is good and I am blessed.
August 10, 2009 @ 9:15 am
This is really funny I really like the part about superman jammies.
August 10, 2009 @ 8:59 am
I’m in the middle of it now so imagine how I must be feeling?
August 10, 2009 @ 6:05 am
@Jean how old are you now Jean?
August 9, 2009 @ 9:39 pm
Very True! I went through it as a mother then as a grandmother and now as a great grandmother and I am still active and sane LOL
August 9, 2009 @ 6:58 pm
Oh this is so true…and funny, too. Now that my children are adults, I can really laugh at all this… Actually, it is a bit charming, thinking about it. Thanks for the memories that once were aggravating, but now are endearing. I am smiling…thanks.
August 9, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
lol