Redneck Valentine’s Poem

Kudzu is green,
My dog’s name is Blue
And I’m so lucky,
To have a sweet thang like you.

Your hair is like cornsilk,
A-flappin’ in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s,
And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales,
But I luv you anyway.

You have all your teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high,
When we’re in a crowd.

Still them fellers at work,
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve,
Such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duck tape,
Yo’re there fer yore man,
To patch up life’s troubles,
And stick ’em in the can.

Yo’re as strong as a four-wheeler,
Racin’ through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger,
Named Naomi Judd.

When you hold me real tight,
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin’.
Despite all the years,
Yore age keeps on hidin’.

And when you get old,
Like a ’57 Chevy,
Won’t put you on blocks,
And let grass grow up heavy.

Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie,
With a RC cold drank,
We go together,
Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Wal-mart,
It’s romantic that way.

Some men they buy diamonds
From a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever,”
They explain, suave and couth.

But, I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds…
It’s a new trollin’ motor!

Submitted By: Ronda L.