Funny Jokes: Old Love & Wedding Plans

Joke #1

An elderly couple are lying in bed together one night…

The husband is trying to fall asleep, but the wife is in a romantic mood, and wants to talk.

She says, “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”

Wearily, he reaches across, holds her hand for a second, then tries to get back to sleep.

A few moments later, she says, “Then, you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reaches across, gives her a peck on the cheek, and settles down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later, she says, “Then you used to bite my neck.”

Angrily, he throws back the bedding, and gets out of bed…

“Where are you going?” she asks.

He yells back at her…

“To get my teeth!”

 

Joke #2

A young couple meet with their pastor to set a date for their wedding…

He asks whether they prefer a contemporary or a traditional service.

The groom asks, “Uh, what is the difference?”

“Oh, there aren’t many differences at all, just a few minor details,” replies the pastor.

The couple prefers the sound of a contemporary wedding over a traditional one, so they decide to go ahead with that.

On the big day, a major storm forces the groom to take an alternate route to the church…

The streets are flooded, so he rolls up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.

When he finally reaches the church, his best man rushes him into the sanctuary and up onto the altar, just as the ceremony is starting.

Upon seeing the groom, the pastor promptly tells him, “Pull down your pants!”

“Uh, pastor,” the groom responds…

“Maybe we should… “

“go with the traditional service.”