What Women Know about Men
1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.
2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One . . . . . men will screw anything.
3. How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
4. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
Because they don’t have balls to scratch.
5. What is a man’s idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
6. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He’s breathing.
7. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
8. What do men and beer bottles have in common.
They are both empty from the neck up.
9. How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
10. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
No one knows. . . . . .It’s never been done.
11. How are men and parking spaces alike?
The good ones are already taken, and the ones left are handicapped.
12. What is a man’s idea of helping you with housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
13. What is the difference between men and E.T.?
E.T. called home.
14. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
15. Do you know why there’s a hole in a man’s penis?
So he can get air to his brain.
16. How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
17. How is a man like linoleum?
If you lay him right the first time, you can walk all over him for the next twenty years.
Print This Post
Ok, I’m sitting back, waiting for the men who cannot take a joke to start ranting and raving at this. I am a woman, and I can take jokes about women, and have 4 fantastic brothers who can take jokes about men. Such as why do men snore? because their balls fall over their butt and block the airflow.
Loved these, the last one was the best.
Some of these were good, some of them were unimaginative. What’s new…
kitty, i am with u. why can we, as women take a joke and men get upset when it is directed at them?
hahahahahaha…this is so true LMAO!!!
I really like kittyluvr’s joke. That was a good one. You should submitt that joke.
i m with u darlene, realy d last one is d best bcus a good start with men makes them to give u their heart 4 treasure.
true…true hahahahaha
Since you ladies say you can take a joke against women, here is one quote which is accepted as gospel truth by most men :
Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.”
Go on give a loud guffaw
Murli, that was below the belt. these are jokes why can’t you men just take it when jokes are directed to you. c’mon just grow up!
darlene urs is also great, men u just have to take it cause it is for u…and the last joke is the best i like it
Hey Boys you get what you deserve and us girls, well we do our best to do the best we can. its not an easy job but someone has to do it!!!!
true
PLS WHAT IS LMAO
Sola,
LMAO is laughing my ass off.
I am a woman and it doesn’t surprise me in the least that men treat women like crap when the men are ridiculed, run in the ground and made fun of constantly. Think about it, girls. Is your husband/boyfriend more likely to treat you like a princess when you boost his ego? or would he rather go and hang out with the boys who make him feel good about himself?
@Dee
I am a woman and i am laughing!!!
this is some gospel truth!
number esp. number 8-they are all empty from the neck upwards
Murli, I liked your joke, With Dee’s reaction it just made it better! All are good both men and women, it’s just a matter of expectations. Dee lighten up.
REMEMBER GOD CREATED MAN FIRST THEN HE CREATED A WOMAN AND SINCE THEN US POOR MEN HAS NEVER HAD A MOMENT OF PEACE AS A WOMAN NEVER HAS LEARN TO SHUT UP FOR MOMENT NO WONDER THERE IS SO MANY DIVORCES WHO WOULD WANT TO LIVE WITH A NAGGING WOMAN NOT ME ILL BE CHARGE WITH MURDER