In a Bad Mood? Read This!

1.  How Do You Catch a Unique  Rabbit?
Unique  Up On It.

2.  How Do You Catch a Tame  Rabbit?
Tame  Way.

3.  How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest  ?
They  Take The Psychopath

4.  How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil  The Hell Out Of It

5.  What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete  Wall?
Dam!

6.  What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too  Long?  
 Polaroids

7.  What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t  work?
A  Stick  
 
8.  What Do You Call Cheese That Isn’t  Yours?  
 Nacho  Cheese.

9.  What Do You Call Santa’s  Helpers?
Subordinate  Clauses.

10.  What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In  Quicksand?
Quatro  Cinco.

11.  What Do You Get From a Pampered  Cow?
Spoiled  Milk. 

12.  What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a  Vampire?
Frostbite.

13.  What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And  Twitches?
A Nervous  Wreck.

14.  What’s The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea  Soup?
Anyone  Can Roast Beef.

15.  Where Do You Find a Dog With No  Legs?
Right  Where You Left Him.

16.  Why Do Gorillas Have Big  Nostrils?
Because  They Have Big Fingers.

17.  Why Don’t Blind People Like To Sky  Dive?
Because  It Scares The Dog.

18.  What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The  Titanic?
Sanka.

19.  What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a  Hoover ?!
The Location  Of The Dirt Bag.

20.  Why Did Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall  Down?
Because  They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their  Hats.

21.  What’s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a  Bad Skydiver?
A Bad  Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes  Dang! Whack.

22.  How Are a  Texas   Tornado And a  Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody’s  Gonna Lose A Trailer.