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7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Mess With A Child

April 18th, 2009

teacher-children

Reason 1
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
“Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..”
“Yes,” the class said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want – God is watching the apples.

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  1. DB
    April 18th, 2009 at 23:04 | #1

    I can actually hear some of the kids I know, or even my own when they were young, saying these things!!! Kids are wonderful, and very smart.

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  2. laurie
    April 19th, 2009 at 10:15 | #2

    children sometimes are smarter than adult that makes them lovables and truly a bundle of joy…..

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  3. John
    April 19th, 2009 at 10:44 | #3

    Amen!

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  4. Robert Hanson
    April 19th, 2009 at 10:54 | #4

    kids say the darndest things
    ART LINKLETTER MANY YEARS AGO WROTE THE BOOK

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  5. sanjana
    April 19th, 2009 at 12:18 | #5

    truely……..wonderful and amazing are the pure-hearted and innocent kids….but sometimes their innocency turns into humour..

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  6. michelle
    April 19th, 2009 at 18:10 | #6

    hahaha and theres the teacher…shes dead hahah my favorite one

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  7. Deloras
    April 19th, 2009 at 18:29 | #7

    I loved every one of the answers the children made. They really sound like something they would say.

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  8. Husband
    April 19th, 2009 at 21:29 | #8

    I love them all children are something else. I have I have 4 grand children and 2 great. They are something else. Sometimes i think they are smarter then we are. I love every 1 of these answers.

    Calvin

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  9. Dick Dennis
    April 20th, 2009 at 00:30 | #9

    I LIKE ALL 7 REASONS

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  10. ken
    April 20th, 2009 at 03:19 | #10

    Those must be very brilliant kids! I love all the answers that they gave.

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  11. Ernest
    April 20th, 2009 at 03:45 | #11

    indeed very wonderful to have and be with. Amen

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  12. Nwabueze
    April 20th, 2009 at 07:35 | #12

    indeed children are really funny but thier funny questions should be given inteligent and comprehensive answers.Its good to have them around.

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  13. ROSIE
    April 20th, 2009 at 07:46 | #13

    we never give kids the credit they deserve for the wisdom they deserve

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  14. shola
    April 20th, 2009 at 10:59 | #14

    my kids will answer the questions like that too, i once went out to see my friend, when i came back my son said if not for his cries, that the dad will not open the door for me , i simply hughed him with a peck.

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  15. Juliet
    April 20th, 2009 at 11:56 | #15

    Truly those kids must very intelligent!and they are very smart too. Really funny and amazing answers. Children are wonderful and fun to be with.

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  16. jobare
    April 20th, 2009 at 12:51 | #16

    kids are bundles of joy and its so nice to have them around.

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  17. Candy Jones
    April 20th, 2009 at 16:22 | #17

    So refreshing! They tell it like it is. Ilove it.

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  18. kate
    April 22nd, 2009 at 08:25 | #18

    all for fun

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  19. stella
    April 22nd, 2009 at 08:40 | #19

    I love the answers they gave. It sure shows how intelligent they are!

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  20. Amos G
    April 22nd, 2009 at 21:13 | #20

    infact, i enjoy reason 4 and 1 most. coz they’re more naturally nautical.
    of course, i can’t help laughing.

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  21. mommy’s girl
    April 23rd, 2009 at 16:55 | #21

    hhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!

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  22. Mccole
    April 24th, 2009 at 06:42 | #22

    LOL. Children are bundles of joy,we can’t do without them,we just have to be very careful when answering any of their questions.Funny kids!!!

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  23. A qua marine
    April 29th, 2009 at 07:15 | #23

    time to learn from them….

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  24. deeniepoo15
    May 4th, 2009 at 10:38 | #24

    LOL! I read these jokes my lil sibs and they started laughing! They make these same remarks at home!

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  25. socerchika
    May 24th, 2009 at 15:37 | #25

    i love all 7 but 3 and 7 r my fave
    i read them 2 my parents and frnds
    and they r burst un2 laughter

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  26. socerchika
    May 24th, 2009 at 15:41 | #26

    never mind 5 and 3 r my fav

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