5 Stages of Drunkenness
Stage 1 – SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 – GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 – RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn’t matter how much you bet ‘cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 – BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you’re BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 – INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you’re still SMART you know all the words.
Comments
16 comments
6th stage of drunkeness, LOC, loss of consciencess, after being so smart, and invisible, you wake up wondering where you underwear went and why your cloths smell funny and fit small.
and we all know someone like that…hahahahahaha!!!
they fo
they forgot the part about when you suddenly become aware that you know every person in the bar from some point in your life. and because your so smart you go up to them and explain where you met them in exact detail. and if they don’t remember then they’re too drunk and need to go home.
@stevej.
pure genius my friend lol
repetition of the 1st to 6th stage brings about the 7th stage of drunkeness which is LOSS OF FOCUS IN LIFE(LOFIL).This brings about self distruction,backwardness,and stagnancy.
what about the 8th stage? the long walk to the land of no return! Hahahahahhaaa…………….
and the 9th stage is dat u can end up sleeping on your beautiful bedroom beside d dustbin.
Stage 6::::::The Pass Out, now oblivious to everything that has gone on during all your drunken stages you lay there with a slight smirk of “Who Me” i am innocent look on your face. Your clothes all dishevelied stained with booz and ooops that pee that missed the porcelain during a zipper miss function and hand eye coordination which you also accidentally slipped over into giving yourself a black eye that matches the other one you got during the fight in Stage 4. Epitaph Stage 7::::::: Here lies “Joe Blow”. Who even though looking like something the cat dragged in on a stormy night after being dragged through a sewer.
Shall Survive!!! “none the wiser”, will rise like a the phoenix, mind you with a doozy of a hangover, to think that He is the Hero of all his friends for being such a great and generous and brave and life and soul of the party guy::::: AS IF
“Joe Blow died of alcohol poisoning”
…and stage 10 is taking a good shower and rest in a comfortable duplex (gutter) lol.
lol! i wonder at which stage i get this confidence to spell out the **** word without battering an eyelid and other things i would never say when not under the influence!
Lung tearing
There sure are a LOT of people that know a LOT on this subject.LOL
What stage now?!!! Perhaps 11. you still don’t mind your wife’s concern and endless nights of becoming your mother cleaning the mess. Of cause you can’t remember because each night is like the first and now, she sounds like a broken record and in your fury, she becomes a punching bag where you learn how to use your BULLET PROOF.
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