Walmart Diagnosis
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars… a lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours
the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer then prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant; twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
August 10, 2009 @ 7:41 am
im less concern
August 7, 2009 @ 5:02 am
I need the machine where can I get one?
August 5, 2009 @ 10:47 pm
hahha,hhehehehe.
August 5, 2009 @ 5:55 pm
tee-hee
August 5, 2009 @ 3:43 am
Thats really funny that one is really good one.
August 5, 2009 @ 12:34 am
Welcome to Walmart Get ur shit and get out lmao i love walmart… slowly they are taking over the world… actually quite fast…
August 4, 2009 @ 11:57 pm
Can’t you hear it now, “Clean-up on aisle 3”? I think I’ll pass!
August 4, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
Who are you kidding?, Feeding this machine all these body fluids ? I am staying away from this machine due to AIDS!!!!!! LOL!!!!! Is their a machine that has a cure for that???? LOL!!!!
August 4, 2009 @ 8:47 pm
I can hear it now, “Clean-up on aisle 3”!!!! I think I’ll pass.
August 4, 2009 @ 8:34 pm
b. c.