Walmart Diagnosis
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars… a lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours
the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer then prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant; twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
August 4, 2009 @ 8:32 pm
i need this machine…
August 4, 2009 @ 8:28 pm
we need a machine like that at our wal-mart, i would like to take my husbands urine sample in for a reading…
August 4, 2009 @ 7:18 pm
that implies that whatever u input is what u get as an output, what u sow u reaps, what goes around comes around and u cant just fool that rather u fool ur self as joe did with d wal mart computer.
August 4, 2009 @ 5:08 pm
I luv that machine thingy
August 4, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
Doubtful thomas good for him
August 4, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
thats gross but they need one there
August 4, 2009 @ 11:41 am
And Walmart has just taken over the world, (ha, ha, )
with this machine,
August 4, 2009 @ 11:38 am
be careful of what you feed into a computer, u never can tell what will come out
July 31, 2009 @ 11:48 am
i like this computer,where can i get one???
July 30, 2009 @ 10:30 pm
Oh Yes, that is why I shop at Wal-Mart. LOL