The Stella Awards
It’s time once again to review the winners of the Annual “Stella Awards.” The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year’s winners:
7th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.
6th Place: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
5th Place: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place: This year’s runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
May 15, 2009 @ 11:04 am
People lighten up, just a joke to easy the day’s stress
May 15, 2009 @ 8:50 am
@ola
Ola dear,
How true, we are not that stupid down here, our judiciary still have some senses in them. Abi.
May 14, 2009 @ 11:27 pm
To HAZEL & bob – yes these are true cases. Goes to show ya just how moronic the judicial system is – and the lawyers these people get to “steal” money from hard working people and their insurances companies — no wonder rates go up.
May 14, 2009 @ 11:27 pm
This reminds me of the Darwin Awards. Same group of stupid people, only the reward is most likely death. It is removal of the gene pool regardless.
May 14, 2009 @ 6:52 pm
Stpuid imcopetent fools. This shows how messed up own judical branch seems to be. They left morons be in the jury. I think people should take an IQ test and a short exam measuring their schooling before they get to go on trial.
May 14, 2009 @ 5:39 pm
this is ridiculous! these must be jokes, right? and even if these are jokes, they are not funny at all.
May 14, 2009 @ 2:37 pm
Are these stories true? I think they are jokes. Come on, we take things too serious. lighten up. I think they are funny.lol
May 14, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
Some people are just complete morons, and what’s even more moronic, is juries awarded the funds to these people. Hence the reason for stupid warnings on product labels, because of idiots like this. NIce for the one who was robbed, cuz they were robbed twice.
May 14, 2009 @ 1:36 pm
Well I have never heard these stories before but they are funny but yet sad because those people got paid for doing things that was obviously their fault…
May 14, 2009 @ 12:12 pm
These are so old that it scares me, if I sent this to anyone they would think I have lost my memory