The Laws of Reality
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
January 8, 2010 @ 3:15 pm
they all sounds true to me
January 7, 2010 @ 9:21 am
GREAT! LOVE THIS
January 4, 2010 @ 7:37 am
this is so true i can just belive it. i remeber when i tried to prove to my husdand that a particular funnel works better than the other without any drop on the floor that everday i had more than a drop on the floor. it makes look real stupid
January 2, 2010 @ 3:45 pm
ALL FACT! NO FICTION!
December 30, 2009 @ 9:20 am
I find “close encounters” particularly relevent. Never fails. The only time I see my ex is when I’m on a date.
December 30, 2009 @ 6:21 am
Splendid, more grease to your elbow
December 30, 2009 @ 3:49 am
Wilson’s Law …… I know this one so well!!!!!! but they all are soooooo TRUE……..hahahahahahahaha
December 29, 2009 @ 7:30 pm
These are sooo! true in thank’s for making it funny I just went throgh that one about the Cold had it for a WEEK MADE THE APPOINTMENT FOR ALMOST A WEEK IN i WAS BETTER
October 14, 2015 @ 7:30 am
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December 29, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
Great well put i love new jokes LOL!!!!
December 29, 2009 @ 10:05 am
Damn!this is soo accurate!