The Laws of Reality
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
December 30, 2013 @ 1:43 pm
These are some good ones!
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
> This is true and must of the time the tool will roll underneath something, that make you have to bend down and reach for it.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
> This is very true. What make it sad is that the product be very good.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
> This is true most of time, when you are rushing trying to make it some where on time.
March 20, 2010 @ 10:33 am
i especially love the law of logical argument
February 26, 2010 @ 10:53 am
this goes out to the guy who posted this stuff man!!!!Murphy would have been so proud of you!!!!!!
October 14, 2015 @ 6:44 am
A simple and inienltgelt point, well made. Thanks!
February 6, 2010 @ 6:30 pm
Great work u have here!
February 5, 2010 @ 4:55 am
lolz…
January 28, 2010 @ 11:06 pm
Murphey’s Law! LOL
January 28, 2010 @ 4:51 pm
here in wva these people are so dumb they;ll stop for green lights
and run like hell at red ones they believe this will make jobs
in garages because of the economy now thats the truth do you believe that?/////
January 26, 2010 @ 6:30 pm
I think I have expierienced them all!