Halloween Jokes
Q – What is a vampire’s least favorite meal?
A – Stake !!
Q – What do vampires enjoy most about baseball?
A – The bats (and the double-headers)
Q – What kind of toothpaste do vampires buy?
A – Ultra-Bite.
Q – What does a monster wear when it rains?
A – His ghoul-oshes.
Q – How did the monster predict his future?
A – With a horror-scope.
Q – What did the monster do when he lost his hand?
A – He went to a second hand store.
Q – Why wouldn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A – Because he didn’t have any guts.
Q – What are a spook’s two favorite rides at the fair?
A – The roller ghoster and the merry ghoul round.
Q – What is a vampires favorite holiday?
A – Fangsgiving.
Q – What four things do monsters enjoy eating on Halloween?
A – Ghoulash and I Scream with booberry pie and ghoul-aid.
Q – What two famous places did the monster visit while on his vacation?
A – The Vampire State Building and Count Rushmore.
Q – What is in the red blood cells of monsters?
A – Hemogoblin !!!
Q – What spook lives in the “hundred acre wood”?
A – Winnie the Boo
A – His bootiful ghoul-friend.
Q – Where do ghosts keep their cars?
A – In a mirage.
Q – What is the hardest thing to sell to a mummy?
A – Life Insurance.
Q – How do you keep a skeleton from laughing?
A – Take away his funny bone!
Q – What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A – Neck tarines
Q – Why didn’t the wraith win at poker?
A – He didn’t have a ghost of a chance.
Q – What performers do vampires enjoy the most at the circus?
A – The jugulars
Q – What do spooks call their Navy?
A – The ghost guard.
Q – What do you call a mummy who eats cookies in bed?
A – A crumby mummy!
Q – Why do Casper’s phone bills tend to be so high each month?
A – He is always calling ghost-to-ghost.
Q – Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A – Because he had no body to take !
Have a Happy Halloween!
November 1, 2011 @ 8:57 pm
i liked these.
October 31, 2011 @ 9:18 pm
These jokes should be on candy wrapers at halloween. The kids would love them.
October 31, 2011 @ 7:52 pm
Like that one Meza.
October 31, 2010 @ 12:16 am
What did the Pharaoh see when he went to a seance? His Mummy!!!!!
October 30, 2010 @ 1:58 pm
Well,here it is Oct.30,2010 & I’ll say it again…har har hardy..har har. See these jokes again next year.
November 1, 2009 @ 6:23 am
Some of these are cute–even the kids would like them!
November 1, 2009 @ 4:18 am
@ shirley (both times) – have you no funny bone? have you no sense of humor whatsoever? HAVE YOU NO LIFE…….you slug
November 1, 2009 @ 2:58 am
HAR HAR HARDY……HAR HAR!
October 31, 2009 @ 9:45 pm
hOW ABOUT,,DUHGUSTING!
October 31, 2009 @ 9:44 pm
DUH!