Great Wisdom
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It’s always darkest before dawn, so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
No one is listening until you fart.
Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile way and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your mouth is moving.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
October 20, 2009 @ 11:30 pm
how many ducks could a duck plucker pluck,if a duck plucker did pluck ducks?
October 20, 2009 @ 6:42 pm
I couldn’t have said it any better!!!
October 20, 2009 @ 6:13 am
Nice one.
October 19, 2009 @ 6:49 pm
“In God We Trust. All others pay cash.”
“If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, acts like a duck, you are spending too much time following ducks.”
October 19, 2009 @ 1:38 pm
Every one of these is so sarcastic i just started laughing from the “Just leave me the hell alone” bit……..Hilarious.
October 19, 2009 @ 11:25 am
I LOVE THIS,NA REAL TRUE TALK
October 19, 2009 @ 10:43 am
i love this they are good
October 19, 2009 @ 10:25 am
Good and enjoyed
July 7, 2009 @ 6:31 am
ahmazing. true truee true. i prefer the windsheild darling. (:
April 4, 2009 @ 8:37 pm
some food for thought