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Bubba the Redneck decides to travel across the south to Virginia…
When he gets to Franklin, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay.
But first, he must find a job…
Bubba walks into an international paper company office and fills out an application as an experienced log inspector.
It’s his lucky day! They just happen to be looking for someone…
But first, the log foreman takes him for a ride into the forest in the company pickup truck to see how much Bubba really knows.
Soon, the foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree…
“See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains.”
Bubba promptly answers, “That there’s white pine, 383 board feet of lumber in ‘er.”
The foreman is impressed! He puts the truck in motion and stops about a mile down the road…
He points at another tree through the passenger window and asks the same question again.
This time, it’s a bigger tree of a different class…
Bubba replies, “That’s a mountain pine and she’s got about 456 clear board feet.”
The foreman is really impressed with this good ol’ boy, he has gotten all the answers right without even using a calculator!
As a final test, they drive a little further down the road, and the foreman stops again…
This time, he points across the road through his driver’s side window and asks, “And what about that one?”
Before the foreman finishes pointing, Bubba says, “White oak, 242 board feet at best.”
The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office…
A little ticked off because he thinks the red neck thinks he’s smarter than he is.
As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck once again and asks Bubba to step outside…
He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, “See that tree over there?” “I want you to mark an ‘X’ on the front of that tree!”
The foreman thinks to himself, “Idiot, how would he know which is the front of the tree?”
Bubba goes over to the tree, then walks around it in a circle while looking at the ground…
He then reaches up and places a big white ‘X’ on the trunk.
Bubba walks back to the foreman and hands him the chalk, “That there’s the front,” says Bubba.
The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, “How in the heck do you know that’s the front of the tree?”
Bubba looks down at his feet while rubbing the toe of his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies, “Cuz… “
“Somebody took a crap behind it!”
