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A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker are captured by a tribe of cannibals…
The chief approaches them and says, “I’ve got some bad news and some good news for you,” his voice full of dark amusement.
“The bad news is that we’re going to kill you, put you in a pot, cook you, and then feast on you… “
“After that, we’ll use your skins to make a fine canoe… “
The chief pauses, letting the horror sink in. “The good news,” he adds, “is that you each get to choose how you want to die.”
The Frenchman steps up first…
“I shall take ze sword,” says the Frenchman.
The chief hands him a sword, and the Frenchman holds it high, shouting, “Vive la France!” before running the blade through himself.
Next, it’s the Englishman’s turn…
“Might I have a pistol?” he asks with impeccable politeness, despite the dire situation.
The chief, intrigued by the man’s composure, hands him a pistol…
The Englishman stands tall, salutes, and says, “God save the Queen!” before pulling the trigger.
Finally, the New Yorker steps forward…
“Gimme a fork!” he demands.
The chief, completely baffled but too curious to object, hands him a fork…
Without hesitation, the New Yorker begins stabbing himself repeatedly with the fork, while yelling…
“Good luck with your frickin’ canoe!”