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Joke #1
A very shy guy goes into a bar, and sees a beautiful woman sitting there…
After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks…
“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
She responds by yelling at the top of her lungs…
“No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!”
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them…
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed. So, he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes…
She smiles at him and says,”I’m sorry if I embarrassed you… “
“You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
The man considers her apology for a moment…
then responds at the top of his lungs…
“What do you mean $200?”
Joke #2
A man was sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater…
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The man groaned but didn’t budge.
The usher became impatient, “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager!”
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher…
He turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
A few moments later, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man…
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police…
The police officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“Sam,” the man moaned.
“Where are you from, Sam?”
With pain in his voice Sam replied…
“The balcony.”
March 3, 2023 @ 12:26 pm
Your jokes are usually quite funny, many are oldies, but goodies.