Actual Court Quotes
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: How old is your son — the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your atorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
mayr
December 8, 2009 @ 6:32 am
they just enjoy us in court
jelly bean
November 27, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
How do u cast a vote on this site? Thanking u in advance for an answer.
Cindy McCaffrey
October 11, 2009 @ 12:08 am
Not a single one of these lawyers passed a bar on their way to court.
Cindy McCaffrey
October 10, 2009 @ 11:57 pm
joe
September 9, 2009 @ 9:23 pm
this is nothing but the truth,an they think your being a smart ass with the anwsers.what you are being asked
makavore
September 5, 2009 @ 4:42 am
Now I believe without any iota of doubt that lawyers are liars! Full amrks for this.
steviej
August 20, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
haha love it!
bev
August 17, 2009 @ 6:14 am
I give it full rating! 10
bev
August 17, 2009 @ 6:12 am
i love this!!!!!!!!! its so so funny yet so so true!
ariel
August 14, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
Well said!!!