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Rude Greeting Cards

November 21st, 2009

greeting-card

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
(Inside card) – I’ve changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
(Inside card) – I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am…
(Inside card) – That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go…
(Inside card) – Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry…
(Inside card) – Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age…
(Inside card) – Almost lifelike!

7.. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) – Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.

8. We’ve been friends for a very long time…
(Inside card) – What do you say we stop?

9. I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) – It’s almost like you’re still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy…
(Inside card) – Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
(Inside card) – I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday…
(Inside card) – So we’re having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in
Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia.)

14. Looking back over the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…
(Inside card) – What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!…
(Inside card) – Too bad no one likes your husband.

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Rude Greeting Cards9.01072



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  1. nneoma
    November 21st, 2009 at 17:07 | #1

    this is CRAZIE…LMAO

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  2. ching
    November 21st, 2009 at 21:36 | #2

    @nneoma
    # 13 is hella funny lol… actually they all are lol

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  3. sue
    November 21st, 2009 at 23:27 | #3

    I like #7

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  4. meza
    November 22nd, 2009 at 07:13 | #4

    Yep # 14………… Thank Goodness!!!! since then i have not been taking those ‘STUPID PILLS’ …………. of your so called sincerity and deception, sugar coated love is just that, sugar coated, that left a bitter taste for my memory to remember, now each time a hand reaches out to me, to touch this gullible heart. I fade away into the shadows and become no more there. A ghost fleeing, scampering away into the emptiness of a long and endless journey. Afraid this loving and caring one, lies shivering alone and dreams of hope. A gentle breeze of happiness to heal a lonely heart………and never again to say
    “What Ever Was I Thinking”!!!!!!

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  5. kelley
    November 22nd, 2009 at 09:07 | #5

    @meza
    you said it all for me. nothing better to write.

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  6. Jean
    November 22nd, 2009 at 17:36 | #6

    @MEZA You should consider writing a novel, seriously, You have a way with words that very few of us do.

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  7. Raye
    November 24th, 2009 at 16:28 | #7

    @Meza, You too huh? Did yours put you in a NUT HUT? Stupid bastards. May they ROT IN HELL.

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  8. lovey
    November 30th, 2009 at 14:54 | #8

    oooooooooooo kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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  9. chiluba
    December 17th, 2009 at 13:14 | #9

    @# 7 its really time for one to keep the promise.
    en @ # 14 i really wat i was doing to dump it.

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  10. Lauren
    January 18th, 2010 at 23:01 | #10

    So your daughter is a hooker and it’s ruined your day….
    (inside) Look on the bright side it’s really great pay.

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  11. Ashley
    February 27th, 2010 at 04:40 | #11

    conGRADulations!!!….
    we’re finally rid of you after 18 years of hell.

    (graduation from high school)

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