Home > Funny Jokes > Real 911 Calls

Real 911 Calls

September 13th, 2009
Real 911 Calls9.310103

emergency-call

BELIEVE it or not , These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired
of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

man-phone-call

VN:F [1.7.5_995]
Rating: 9.3/10 (103 votes cast)



Print This Post Print This Post

admin Funny Jokes ,

  1. maria
    September 14th, 2009 at 19:14 | #1

    lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooooooo way to funny!!!!!

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  2. ayo
    September 15th, 2009 at 11:24 | #2

    seriously funny

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  3. memi
    September 15th, 2009 at 17:07 | #3

    phunny

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  4. Elma
    September 16th, 2009 at 06:24 | #4

    thank you for giving me a nice laugh on my birthday. very funny.

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  5. meza
    September 16th, 2009 at 07:59 | #5

    @ Elma “Many Happy Returnables”…….

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  6. kym
    September 16th, 2009 at 08:47 | #6

    They are funny.. until you have to put one person on hold that you are doing CPR with to answer the other phone line then not so funny.. speaking from experience since I have been a 911 dispatcher for 17 years.

    just think before you call 911 and if you have to do listen to what is being said to you..

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  7. pimpster965
    September 16th, 2009 at 17:00 | #7

    LMAO THE LAST ONE WAS FUNNY MMM RUUNN FROM THE PIGS HEHE

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  8. she
    September 17th, 2009 at 05:09 | #8

    hahaha funny indeed

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  9. tiny
    September 18th, 2009 at 07:14 | #9

    Thanks 4 making my day.as the saying goes…….laughter is the best medicine…….you have given me my dosage 4 the day

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  10. Jaamiiz
    September 19th, 2009 at 04:25 | #10

    Crazy..crazy….

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  11. Jean
    September 19th, 2009 at 17:13 | #11

    @PIMPSTER965 PIG STANDS FOR PRIDE,INTEGERITY AND GUTS SO THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLEMENT.

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  12. memyselfni
    September 19th, 2009 at 22:26 | #12

    lololololololololololol bwahahaha

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  13. Raye
    September 23rd, 2009 at 21:06 | #13

    Happy Bday Elma. That is a cute one.

    UN:F [1.7.5_995]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  1. No trackbacks yet.