and Women Differ
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's
magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is
because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while
the male body is lumpy and hairy and shouldn't be seen by
the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked
woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women
aren't looking, men kick cats.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances
and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and
hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people
living in the house.
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away
with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that
and he will look like a lounge singer named Ramone.
Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women use
restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will never
speak a word to each other. Women who've never met will
leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And
never in the history of the world has a man excused himself
from a restaurant table by saying, 'Hey, Tom, I was just
about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?'