Actual Court Quotes
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: How old is your son — the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your atorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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LOL And these idiots get paid biggggg bucks!!!!!!!!
I give this a 10!
Who is the bigger idiot?
What were these lawyers drinking ???
this is about the way some of those stupid att. ask questions, just to trick you, but these are pretty funny. i rate this a BIG 10
This is the reason we get the kind of justice we get
and some people say there is no such thing as a stupid question.
gotta love the last one lololol…
Perhaps the justice system could be handled better by some 5th graders who usually recieve A’s on their report cards!!
Yes a “10″
yet they claim they are “learned gentlemen..” hmm come to think of it…are they not learned at d BAR (guess a lot of liqor is served there)
Well said!!!
i love this!!!!!!!!! its so so funny yet so so true!
I give it full rating! 10
haha love it!
Now I believe without any iota of doubt that lawyers are liars! Full amrks for this.
this is nothing but the truth,an they think your being a smart ass with the anwsers.what you are being asked
Not a single one of these lawyers passed a bar on their way to court.
How do u cast a vote on this site? Thanking u in advance for an answer.
they just enjoy us in court
jelly bean r u a lawyer 2?
@memyselfni
I agree the Last one is the best answer Lol